Imagine a life where your parent is always there for you. You can call them when you need to talk about something, and they want to hear about your day. They make you feel like you’re safe and loved, and they never hold back in telling you how proud they are of the things you do.
Now imagine that same life, but with one key difference: every time you try to get close to them, they turn away from you.
That’s what toxic parenting feels like. While it may seem like a small thing—after all, at least they’re not abusing you—the cumulative effect of having parents who are consistently toxic can be devastating on the adult lives of their children.
“Toxic parenting,” as defined by researchers and psychologists, is any behavior that undermines a child’s sense of self-worth or ability to function independently. More specifically, it involves behaviors such as rejecting a child’s individuality or creating an environment where the child feels unsafe or unloved. Toxic parents often don’t respond well when their children need help or support; instead, they tend to punish them for making mistakes or asking for assistance (or even just for being themselves).
Toxic parents are parents who do not put their children first. They may be abusive, neglectful, or otherwise harmful to their children. While it is possible for children to overcome the effects of toxic parenting, many people experience lifelong trauma as a result.
On the surface, it’s hard to pinpoint what exactly toxic parents do that makes them so damaging. They don’t seem like they’d be that bad. Maybe they’re just strict or overbearing—or maybe they’re just trying to help their child out. But the truth is, toxic parents are damaging on a deep level.
The thing is, when you’re a kid, everything your parents say and do has an impact on your life. And if they’re toxic parents, that impact can be devastating. Toxic parents are those who make you feel like you’re not good enough—and they’ll do everything in their power to make sure you know it. They may be overly critical of everything from your appearance to your intelligence and abilities, or even try to control every aspect of your life (including friends and relationships).
But why does this kind of behavior have such a negative effect on adult lives? Well, for starters, toxic parents often teach their children that there’s no way for them to live up to their expectations—so why bother trying? They might also teach kids not only that other people won’t accept them as they are but also that it’s okay for others not to accept them as they are
It’s important to note that toxic parenting does not necessarily mean abusive parenting—it can be any kind of behavior that damages a child’s sense of self-worth and belonging in the world. Toxic parents may also be emotionally manipulative and make it difficult for their children to have healthy relationships in adulthood by constantly belittling them.
Children who grow up with toxic parents often struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety disorders, depression and other mental health conditions, trouble maintaining healthy relationships (both romantic and platonic), problems with substance abuse or addiction, eating disorders like bulimia or anorexia nervosa, feelings of isolation from friends or family members who don’t understand where they’re coming from.
When you’re a kid, you don’t have the capacity to understand how your parents’ negative behaviors are hurting you. But as you get older, you develop more empathy and start to see how toxic parenting affects you—and it can be devastating.
Toxic parents can be any type of parent: biological or adoptive, single or married, male or female. They might have been abusive or neglectful when they were younger, or they may have learned their behavior from their own parents. But whatever the case may be, it’s important to recognize that toxic parenting is not good for anyone involved in the situation.
The effects of toxic parenting on adults can include depression, anxiety disorders and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which are all treatable with therapy; addictions like alcohol abuse or drug addiction; eating disorders such as bulimia or anorexia; and even suicide attempts. If you suspect that your relationship with your parents has impacted your mental health negatively as an adult, there are resources available to help—most notably therapy with a licensed therapist who specializes in treating trauma survivors.
I Think we’ve all Been There.
You’re a teenager, and your parents… just don’t get it. They don’t understand why you’re upset that they don’t care about your feelings—they just want you to do what they say. They don’t understand why you’re angry that they never listen to you when you tell them how you feel—they just want to be right. And because they don’t understand, they try to control you—often with threats of violence or other forms of abuse.
But the problem isn’t your parents: it’s their toxic behavior. And if you were raised by someone who treated you this way, then odds are good that their toxic behavior has affected your adult life in some way.
If this is true for you, there are ways to move forward. The first step is recognizing that this isn’t normal behavior and that it’s not okay for anyone—whether it’s from your parents or from anyone else in your life now. The next step is learning how to set boundaries and stick up for yourself without letting anyone else put limits on what you can do or be in life. This will help strengthen both your emotional health and your independence as an adult so that no one can take advantage of or hurt you.
The last step is learning how to forgive the people who hurt you in the past. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing their behavior—it just means that you’re choosing not to let it affect your life anymore.
RUCHI RATHOR
Founder & CEO
Payomatix Technologies Pvt. Ltd.
https://payomatix.com/
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